In case you missed it, a couple months ago Whoopi Goldberg got candid about her sex life. Specifically, she discussed that she prefers one-night stands to actual relationships or even long-term dating. Watch this video for the breakdown (along with a few ridiculous opinions).
To recap, while on The View, the women were discussing how to weed out narcissists as sexual prospects. Whoopi admitted that she prefers to go the hump-and-dump route. She quite literally wants to get it in and go home; she doesn't want to cuddle. And she also doesn't want to do the work involved in establishing and maintaining relationships.
This isn't the first time she's said something like this. Eight years ago, she said something similar on the Rachael Ray Show. So, if nothing else, she's consistent.
So what's so different?
After perusing the internet, I realized that most reactions to this not-so-new revelation are shock, disgust, or laughter. But in the words of the great Sade, is it a crime?!
I mean, first of all, let's get into the fact that she's a phenotypically Black woman, which means she's a part of a demographic that has low marriage rates, in general. Also, no shade, but she's no spring chicken, so that's also a strike against her in a world that champions middle-aged men dating young women in their mid-twenties. This is especially true in entertainment, where men like Leonardo Dicaprio, who, despite being 50, still dates women who are literally half his age.
Moreover, she's very successful, which makes her a threat to the average man and leaves the door open for insecure abusers who can't pull their own weight. See Keke Palmer.
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And let's not get on the backlash she faced after dating the sporadic Black-face-sporting quasi-comedian Ted Danson. I’m pretty sure there would be an issue if she was married to a white man as well. Also, despite speculation, Whoopi maintains that she has no interest in taking a dip in the lady pond.
For some reason — and I think we all know what it is — people seem to be turned off by the premise of an older woman continuing to be sexual. Yes, despite the fact that older men, such as 84-year-old Al Pacino, have a one-year-old child.
We're witnessing the effects of ageism in Hollywood that tells us men increase in value as they get older, but women become less valuable the moment they turn 25.
This is why the Leonardos of the world can be considered the most eligible bachelors well into their 70s, while the Whoopis are cast aside at their 30th birthdays. Many actresses over 35 are considered past their prime. Thus, they are stuck scrambling to take on best supporting roles or ones that exaggerate their age and portray them as aesthetically undesirable, with very few exceptions.
This mentality undoubtedly spills over into real life, where even the most beautiful and thriving older actresses are suddenly considered asexual because they've miraculously outlived a few too many director's cuts.
Would men prefer that Whoopi sew up her vagina and do Sister Act remakes for the rest of her days. It certainly feels like it.
Another glaring issue is that funny women are akin to the "nice guys" of the world. Many will come around to laugh and have fun, but they're not exactly looking to see her naked when the jokes are over. Maybe this has contributed to Whoppi's feeling that relationships are hard work and no longer worth the effort. Either way, she seems comfortable and happy with her life choices.
If we're honest, misogyny and misogynoir play the most significant role in the fact that women are expected to stop being sexual once they've begun to age and are not considered as attractive as they once were. In the case of Whoopi, she may not be as young as she once was, nor has she ever fit into the mainstream standards of beauty, but she's still a beauty, nonetheless. If she's having fun and feels fulfilled hooking up with guys with no strings attached, what's the issue? Finding out a celebrity is more interested in hooking up than being committed should be no big whoop in 2024. Unless, of course, your expectations for women's lives are still stuck in 1964.
This post originally appeared on Medium and is edited and republished with author's permission. Read more of Ivy Locke's work on Medium.
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