5. R. Kelly
Sure, the singer released a statement back in 2017 assuring that he would not perform at Donald Trump’s presidential inauguration. But The Root once curiously called R. Kelly “the Black Donald Trump,” so there’s that. Then again, we’re pretty sure Trump doesn’t read The Root, so this one is a toss-up.
4. Bill Cosby
Stop us if you’ve heard this one before: a onetime TV star with a pattern of predatory actions who would otherwise spend the rest of his days in prison. Not exactly a different world to imagine that Trump could see himself in the disgraced funnyman.
3. Jared Kushner
Sure, Trump could want to preemptively pardon the real-estate scion, pandemic response bungler, and treasurer of the Black Folks Just Don’t Want to Be Successful Society simply because he’s POTUS’ son-in-law. But he’d most likely do it so he could tell friends he got Kanye’s BFF off the hook, thereby finally surpassing Abraham Lincoln as the president most likely to get invited to the cookout.
2. Joe Exotic
Could there be a more fitting end to 2020 than Donald Trump liberating this cuckoo Tiger King cat lover who also ran for president twice?
1. Donald Trump Jr.
The orange doesn’t fall far from the tree. Or the jumpsuit.