So, I’ve discussed these hateful laws before here, but in short, teachers are now supposed to report students who identify as trans. Even if a child asks to go by a different name, we are expected to report them. It is honestly some of the most embarrassing malarkey I’ve seen in the American education system. We have so many reasons to be embarrassed.
I’ve had students kicked out and shipped off because they came out to their parents. I’m in the business of protecting kids. I guess the proponents of these rules pretend this is a moral or religious issue, but it is clearly about hate.
How can I morally feel good about betraying and hurting a child?
How can anyone find religious pleasure in knowing they are shipping a child away just for being different?
So, when I’m in the business of protecting kids, am I really going to bend to a law that actively hurts them?
Hell no.
What happened?
Every year I create a survey for the students. It is a quick way to gain necessary information for planning puposes and geting to know my new kids. Over the last few years, I added a spot for preferred pronouns. Due to the backward nature of my state, I removed this option from the survey this year.
However, I still have a section that says, “Tell me something you want me to know about you.”
This is an important section to me. Many students tell me stuff like, “I’m lazy” or “I play football.” Even quick comments help me know which kids to check on early or which coaches to contact if a student is skipping out on assignments.
More importantly, this section of the survey has identified homeless children, victims of abuse, and so on. So often kids want help, we just need to give them the opportunity to ask.
Oh, and yes, I’ve also had students use the survey to come out to me.
So, no, I’m not surprised it happened again this year, but I did take a step to make it less likely by removing the pronoun section. Here is my dirty little secret though. I want to be a safe space for kids. If they don’t have an adult they feel comfortable confiding in, I want them to be able to talk to me.
This year, my student’s response to the survey section was brief but clear:
I’m trans. Don’t tell my parents!
The students receive the survey on the first day of school. This child was clearly bursting to tell someone. My “job” is to now contact his parents about this confession.
I supposed I am still expected to build a relationship with this child so they care about learning in my class as well. What benefits come from reporting the kid in this situation?
Teenagers have always explored their identities. There are just more support systems now for the kids who explore in ways previously considered taboo. There is no harm coming to a child because they change their pronouns or go by a different name.
What am I going to do?
I’m going to call the child by the name they prefer and I will use the pronouns they prefer. I’m not going to report them to anyone. This may lead to some blow-up from parents, placing my job at risk, but I doubt it. This is just another kid in a sea of kids, trying to wade their way through high school.
If I lose my job, I won’t have regrets. I will continue to sleep peacefully. When did we start asking teachers to not care about the kids? I don’t know, but if that is the new standard, it is no longer the profession for me.
This post originally appeared on Medium and is edited and republished with author's permission. Read more of LG Ware's work on Medium.