Teaching is hard.
I know some people don’t believe this. I’ve dealt with enough combative parents to know teachers are not always viewed positively. I imagine it is partially political propaganda and partially angry kids turned adults with a vendetta against teachers.
Either way, it is hard to appreciate the difficulty of teaching without being in the trenches. Caring about the children is crucial to success but is also the job's most draining aspect. I take on so much pain every year in the hopes of helping students grow.
However, the most challenging part is watching students who are full of potential throw it away.
I started my teaching career at DJJ. I was young and sure I could change the minds and lives of children even within such a deficient system. These students were serving sentences for lesser crimes like fighting in public to more serious crimes like armed robbery and kidnapping.
Yet, many of them thrived in the new environment. I was sure they would leave and achieve amazing things. But no, in my one year there I saw many of those students return.
The students may do well at DJJ, but how does that help them if they are placed back into their environment? How do they survive?
Teaching them Shakespeare isn’t going to help them if we put them right back into violent neighborhoods lacking resources.
I recall one model student being told he was scheduled to go home. He would purposefully get into fights to get his time extended. On his last day, he was so desperate to stay, he even tried to fight me. He was willing to do anything to avoid going home.
There was nothing there for him. He was at DJJ for over three years and never received a visitor. When he was in the system, he was fed, he was relatively safe, and people cared about him. At home, he had none of that.
What do you think he did when he got out? He immediately committed a crime and was arrested again.
Split Path
Last year I wrote about a bright student who was at a crossroads. He joined my class after getting out of an alternative school (a school for students who were expelled from traditional public schools). He was motivated to change his life. He stopped smoking and his grades were high, especially while dating his girlfriend.
However, the tempting call of old friends lured him back to his old ways. Did he pursue his new life with his girlfriend or did he go back to the familiar?
Unfortunately, early this year he and his girlfriend officially broke up. It was an unhealthy relationship for her. She made the right decision. Too much of his identity and mental health were wrapped up in her. However, the day they broke up, he joined in on a violent assault.
A group of boys randomly attacked a student in the hallway. Apparently, the victim was the brother of a boy who bumped into someone’s sister at a dance without apologizing. This is all it took to spark the brutal beating of someone not even directly involved in the incident.
My student was tackled and arrested on the scene. It was another student I poured into but in the end, he broke.
The signs were always there though. I knew he was in danger of breaking. This most recent story I never saw coming.
Although I hate the modern connotations of the word, my students use “thug” to describe kids who gangbang or associate with gangs. Most of these “thugs” are kids with failing grades who spend more time smoking in the bathroom or at home than the actual classroom.
Joey (Editors Note: Names have been changed to protect the identities of students.), however, was known as the smart thug. It was a rumor I heard whispered many times throughout the year. Despite my history with surprisingly violent students and manipulative children, I assumed it was a joke.
Joey was popular with everyone. Yes, he was tall, dark, and traditionally handsome, but his style would usually draw ridicule from a certain demographic. He wore collared shirts and khakis. When he smiled, his braces took up half of his face.
Oh, and his grades and work ethic were fantastic. He has held an “A” all year in my class. Out of my one hundred students, only about five have accomplished that this year.
He is always engaged and outshines his peers. He is respectful, helpful, and kind. Kids who are easy targets for bullying are protected under his wing.
He is the type of kid who makes teaching fun. We are able to dig into deep ideas. I could see new ideas connect, and he was able to formulate thoughts into actual sentences.
You read the title. You know where this is going.
Two days ago, I heard students whispering about a shooting. One of them noticed me listening and said, “You should hear this, Mr. Ware. It’s about your star student.”
I was able to put together the story using what I heard from my kids and the news article.
Joey, joined by other minors and two adults, shot up an apartment. They were aiming for one of their rivals with no thought for who else they hit.
Two parents say they grabbed their daughter and ran upstairs. They say they found a bullet hole near where their daughter was sitting.
The police were able to find the SUV at a mall near the apartment complex. Five people were arrested, including my student. They found guns and drugs in the vehicle.
Although not in the news report, allegedly a woman was shot that night and my student was likely involved in this too.
The day after I learned about the incident, I had to let a girl leave class because she was crying for Joey. Even if his status as a minor helps him avoid the most serious consequences, all of the potential is gone.
Honestly, I want to feel for him. He was a bright young man, but it also means to some extent, he fully understood what he was doing.
I may never know why Joey chose this life. Was he following in his father’s footsteps, a man he admired? Did he view this as a form of survival? I understand how the environment and society shape us. I understand how admired adults can influence otherwise innocent children.
But to shoot into someone’s home, not knowing what innocent people are inside, is one of the most heinous, heartless things anyone can do.
Joey knows how to critically think. He knows other possible victims may catch a stray bullet. In the moment, for whatever reason, he didn’t care.
Teaching is hard, especially on days like this.
Teaching is still important, especially on days like this.
Hope is the medicine these kids need. For every story like Joey’s, there are other students who climb out of nothing to become successful.
I wish Joey the best. He isn’t just a “thug.” He is smart. I hope he learned some important lessons. I’m going to focus on making sure my other students learn those lessons without making the same mistakes.
This post originally appeared on Medium and is edited and republished with author's permission. Read more of LG Ware's work on Medium.