It was the traditional dish whose preparation my mother and aunts could not master. Very few women could. The pumpkin seed cake, called Nnam Ngon in my mother’s native language, was the dread of most women during my childhood in Yaoundé, Cameroon.
If poorly made, this traditional dish could ruin an entire meal and make all the guests sick. If the preparation went well, it was the talk of the week. In many tribes, including mine, Nnam Ngon, or Nkono Ngond, was reserved for special occasions, mostly weddings and funerals. Depending on the outcome, it could be the omen of a happy marriage or cast a shadow over the young couple. It could signify that the deceased person had left this earth angry, or that the marriage was doomed to failure. Most often, it was elder women who were in charge of the dish, as its preparation was so delicate. The most important thing was to ensure that the ingredients were of good quality. For my purist family, it should only be prepared with smoked fish. Anything else, like meat of any kind, was a sacrilege, a crime of lèse-majesté.
For my cousin Manga’s funeral, one of my great aunts, who had undertaken the heavy responsibility of preparing the Nnam Ngon, had decided to prepare it with pork, without warning the rest of the family. Usually, we children were the ones who would warn the adults if there was something unusual. But in this occasion, apart from Manga’s direct siblings, we had all been left in Yaoundé, the capital of Cameroon, while all the adults were in the village for the funeral.
From what we heard later, great aunt Marsa had not told anyone that she had changed the recipe. So, when the rest of the family discovered the truth about the dish on the table, it was a big shock. The sadness of the loss of my cousin Manga gave way to anger for some, and incomprehension for others. Substituting smoked fish for pork was an offense to the ancestors, decreed mama Mengue, my mother’s aunt. They had to expect their fury from now on, she warned everyone.
What followed in the months and years ahead was the breakdown of our traditions and customs. Subconsciously or not, everyone acted as if they were on a mission to modernize our customs and traditions, or as if they did not care. For example, the family forgot the remembrance ceremony of cousin Manga. Tradition required that family and friends meet one year after the death of someone for a service and a celebration, in order to say a final goodbye and to allow the spirit to finally rest, by passing from the world of the living to the world beyond. Everyone forgot the ceremony for Manga.
Auntie Bébé forgot to organize my cousin Coco’s circumcision, which was the mandatory passage to manhood for boys, while auntie Juliette forgot that cousin Papi was long due for his hunting ritual, to which all of us boys were subjected.
It was a new era for the family. Our traditions were being shaken to the core. It was as if everyone was inventing their own traditions. We chose what we liked and ignored the rest. We were, in essence, burying the last vestiges of our traditions. The arrival of the internet, in the 2000s, dealt the final blow. Today, my nephews and nieces are westernized and treat everything that relates to tradition as old-fashioned.
It is the Nnam Ngon at my cousin’s funeral that I think of, as I try to understand the results of the November 5 presidential election between Vice President Kamala Harris and former President Donald Trump. The former president’s large victory is a victory for the right, but above all, it is the triumph of “brohism.” It is the emergence of the Bro Movement. Some might say that it is the victory of men, who have been in crisis since the #MeToo movement, which showed that societal progress had ended up destabilizing a significant number of men.
“Trump finna win… Skreets is back,” DJ Akademiks, one of the most powerful Black Streamers, wrote on X (formerly Twitter) on November 5, a few hours before the former President was declared the winner. Akademiks, a provocateur with a big following among young Black men, interviewed Donald Trump Jr., the president-elect’s eldest son, earlier this year. He became a Trump supporter after that.
“Trump back President,” he wrote again on November 5. “Streets is back.”
The tweet had 6 million views as of the time of writing.
Akademiks used the term “streets”, which usually means a man who is strong, tough, and knows his way around difficult neighborhoods, even how to deal with gangs. He was implying Trump is one of them.
“Thank God,” Andrew Tate, one of the biggest influencers in the manosphere, posted on X in the early hours of November 6, as it became increasingly clear that Trump was going to win. “Men can’t get pregnant anymore.”
In the past Tate has said that women “barely even think. They just feel, like children.” His post has been viewed more than 15 million times at the time of writing.
“Boys, we are so back,” exclaimed right-wing influencer and YouTuber Benny Johnson on the same day, a few hours after Tate. He accompanied his post with a video clip of himself, Tate and three other “boys” dancing.
For the manosphere whose enemy is feminism, there is no doubt that the “real man” is back with Trump’s victory. These influencers say that men have been too soft for too long. It is time for them to take charge. They say they need warriors, not appeasers. Women, according to these defenders of the patriarchy, respect strength, not weakness.
The former president, who presented himself as a strong man, managed to form a coalition made up mainly of men: tech bros, street bros, crypto bros, sports bros, gym bros, Wall Street bros and others. They used their platforms (X, YouTube, Twitch, Rumble) to persuade young men that the former president was the strong man who was going to bring back masculinity and make the United States respected again.
It worked, as Trump won the male vote by a wide margin: 54% of men voted for him, up 1% from 2020, according to the NBC News Exit Poll. It is also important to note that Trump saw a 6% increase in support among 18-to-29-year-olds, compared to 2020, mainly from young men.
Trump saw his support among Black men increase and explode among Hispanic and Latino men (+18% compared to 2020).
“It’s manliness,” Will, a Hispanic friend of mine told me, as I read to him Trump’s good numbers with Hispanic and Latino men, who have often immigrated from countries to which Trump and his lieutenants threaten to deport millions of nationals present in the United States illegally. “Donald Trump appealed to them. He talked to them like they should be the boss. There is an entire movement, starting with the VP J.D Vance telling men and women that women should raise kids and do what you’re told. Men should be the leader and the boss. So, it’s very appealing to men.”
“Don’t forget that many Latino countries are very conservative," my friend Alex (Alejandro) told me. "It’s not because we immigrate here that we’re suddenly going to become progressive. We Latinos are very conservative. We still believe in traditional and determined roles between men and women. The man goes to work to feed the family, while the woman does everything at home and raises the children.
“But Mexico just elected a woman president, Claudia Sheinbaum," I replied. "Dilma Rousseff was the president of Brazil. Cristina Fernandez Kirchner was the president of Argentina and Michelle Bachelet was the president of Chile.”
“I agree. But people kept saying they were puppets of men. For Dilma, everyone said that Lula was the real president. For Cristina, people said it was her husband, Nestor.”
He continued.
“Men really see Trump as a strong man. The kind of strong man they want to be. It doesn’t matter if you are Latino or Black. He despises minorities, Black, Brown but still they went for him because he told them that they are supposed to be the head of the house and command. That’s why they fell for him.”
Virility or machismo as a rallying cry, then. Music to the ears of young men who have been going through a crisis since the #MeToo movement, fueled by the fact that the number of male students has continued to decline in colleges while the percentage of female students has increased.
In 2022, about 1 million fewer young men were in college compared to 2011, according to a Pew Research study published last December. The drop in young women was approximately 200,000. As a result, men make up 44% of young college students today, down from 47% in 2011.
— “I think, it is just the general male empowerment that comes from Trump,” Jayvon Nougaisse, 24, a PhD student in Augusta, GA, said to me, explaining the reason why some young Black men voted for Trump. “They are feeling they have more of a voice, and aren’t being immediately silenced for them just being them.”
“In our generation, boys are more conservative and girls are more progressive," my 19-year-old son told me on November 8. He was the one who alerted me to the crisis he and his male friends were going through. "There is a big divide. Boys feel that Elon Musk, a big Trump supporter, is speaking our language, tech, crypto. He is speaking to us.”
In general, the reorientation of the economy towards services in the West due to the outsourcing of manufacturing to low-cost countries, that led to the closure of factories which often employed more men than women, left many men wondering whether they were still the main providers for their families. It shook them. Some lost their footing as they had always defined themselves through their jobs. I work therefore I am, was how many men saw themselves.
But the emergence of women in the work space, often more qualified, and their professional advancement ended up completely destabilizing men, some seeing themselves dispossessed of the title of bread winner of their family. With this, also went their pride and their masculinity.
By promising to restore America’s pride, Trump is in a way promising to these men to restore their lost honor and, in essence, to bring back the days when they were the heads of the families.
They find appealing what Trump seems to be saying to them: You’re the man! It overrides everything because it triggers the very primal instinct of their nature. This goes beyond rationality. Given how Trump has targeted minorities through derogatory statements, false claims, and specific policies (such as the deportation of millions of immigrants) one would expect the support of minority men for Kamala Harris to increase. But this did not happen. Trump’s targeting their male side has triggered a basic instinct of survival through supremacy. It goes beyond reasoning. It is like a calling: somebody speaks to you who really understands you. It triggers your basic needs to take back control.
These men want to be in control. They don’t like the fact that women have equal rights. They feel that society has moved too much to the left. They don’t think gays are “real” men, therefore gay couples should not have the same rights. To them, rights for trans people are the result of an extremist liberal agenda for something that defies human nature. They’re not comfortable with that. It is going too far.
And they have an important ally: some women. Trump gained one percentage point among women compared to 2020, according to NBC News Exit Poll, mainly thanks to Hispanic and Latina women whose support increased by 7% compared to four years ago.
“The America that you knew, that you came here for, is no longer there. It’s gone,” my friend Will, who is White Hispanic of European descent, told me. “And today, the process started to be official. The movement started a couple years ago, a real movement, but now it is official, and every equality prospect will be rolled back.”
Several questions remain about how this Bro Movement will be implemented. Will it be as Elon Musk, one of its main leaders, intends? Namely to urge women to have more babies, to put no restrictions on free speech and to eliminate any policies promoting inclusion and diversity?
“The people of America gave @realDonaldTrump a crystal clear mandate for change tonight,” Musk, the world’s richest man, posted on X, the platform he owns, on November 6.
The tweet has already been viewed more than 78 million times as of this writing.
The question is what will this change look like.
For those of you who are eager to know how bros will impact our lives from now on, or what values they will impose on society, I also invite you to listen to the podcaster Joe Rogan, who is followed by millions of young men and is considered by them the Oprah of today.
This could be a preview of what to expect: “Libs?” You’ll never get through this. You’ll never do it,” Andrew Tate, who has more than 10 million followers on X, warned on November 6. “It won’t be okay. Don’t calm down. Racist jokes will be everywhere. I’ll never respect a woman ever again. Women’s rights? LOL. Slav[e]s don’t have rights. Panic. Panic a lot. Cry more. Do something. It’s over.”
“Dad, do you think Trump is really going to do all the right-wing stuff the Democrats were denouncing?” my son asked me on November 7.
“If he doesn’t, he will have betrayed all his supporters,” I replied.
“I am not for mass deportations of illegal immigrants,” he told me. “What interested me was his plans on the economy and taxes.”
“Too late!” I said. “You don’t get to cherry pick.”
The preparation of Nnam Ngon with pork at Manga’s funeral set off the dismantling of many of our traditions and customs in our microcosm. It is impossible to say whether the Bro Movement will have a similar impact on the gains that the West has achieved on social issues in the last decades. Yet, the way men of today feel is real. Have we unintentionally emasculated and muzzled them? If liberals choose to treat the victory of Trump as an abomination, they will continue to fail to understand the backlash that a fast-changing society has had on a large number of its people. To survive, progress has to be understood and embraced, not enforced.